


Lessons Leslie Knope Learns in College

by Tequilamj



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-06 12:34:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14057112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tequilamj/pseuds/Tequilamj
Summary: Leslie's determined to have a great sophomore year after freshman year let her down. If only she could stop running into Ben the jerk Wyatt.Or - Yet another college AU.





	1. jell-o shots contain alcohol

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so very late to this party, but I only just watched all of Parks and Rec. Twice. I love it so much. I love all the characters so much, especially Leslie, and I miss them, so here's this thing. 
> 
> I should also point out I'm Australian, and my knowledge of American college is mostly from movies, so please forgive any inaccuracies.

Leslie Knope is going to rock sophmore year of college. This is her year. Sure, she'd thought last year was her year. Couldn't wait to get away from the petty concerns of high school and connect with fellow intellectuals, widen her horizons, meet some guys who were actually smart and interesting and wouldn't dump her via their mom. 

Yeah, it hadn't quite worked out how she'd dreamed it. 

To be fair, nobody had had their mom break up with her, but... well, let's just say sky-writing isn't always positive. 

But she's ready to shake the previous year off and kick some ass. This year is gonna be great because she's rooming with her best friend and world's best person Ann Perkins. And no dating. She's sworn off guys for the year. They take up too much headspace and distract her from her goals. Her priorities this year are her studies and her friends. And waffles, because really, why would anyone eat anything other than breakfast foods?

“Leslie!” 

Ann finds her and she gets a wonderful Ann hug. “I feel like it's been forever!”

“I know! I want to hear all about your summer!”

“But I already told you everything over the phone...”

“But now I need more details. And I hope you took photos of the cute guy next door like I asked you to!” 

Ann just smiles and links their arms. “Come on. Let's go find our new room.”

Their room ends up being in a great spot, equidistant from the library and the cafeteria. All signs pointing to awesome sophomore year! And the first week back kicks ass. Leslie loves her new classes, she has some really inspiring professors, and she even finds a diner nearby that does good waffles, since cafeteria waffles frankly suck. The place is no JJ's, but it's alright. She loves living with Ann, and Ann totally loves living with her. Even if she does express some... concern over the amount of clutter Leslie is acquiring. (Ann doesn't seem any less concerned when Leslie assures her it's all essential. Which it is! She might need her Romanian to English dictionary or her archaeology kit...)

By Friday night when she and Ann head to dinner with their friends, it's been such a great first week back that Leslie thinks she probably should have been expecting this. 

She drags Ann to the side just as she's about to step through the door. “What is Ben the jerk doing here?” she hisses. 

“Oh, I think he has world history with Tom actually and they've been hanging out, so I guess Tom probably invited him... Leslie, what? Why are you glaring at me? It's not my fault!” 

Leslie looks away and tries to control the jumping muscle in her jaw. Ann sighs.

“Leslie, come on. He's not actually that bad... okay, okay!” she amends quickly at the look on Leslie's face, putting her hands in the air. “But maybe you could try getting along with him, just for one night. Since he's here. And he is kind of friends with Tom now.”

“Ugghhhh,” Leslie groans, flopping her limbs around theatrically.

“Leslieeee,” whines Ann.

“ALRIGHT.” Ann beams at her. “I should get a medal for this,” Leslie grumbles as they go in.

They're the last to arrive. Tom, Donna, April, Andy, Ron and Ben are already gathered over drinks.

“Hey-o! Leslie and Ann are in the house!” Tom hollers.

“Hello everyone,” Leslie says stiffly. 

“Leslie, Ben responds, smirking that stupid arrogant smirk at her and damn it, she already regrets this promise to play nice, stupid smirk-face. She wants to punch that smirk right off him. 

The important thing to know about Ben Wyatt is he's a stupid jerk and Leslie hates him. Their first encounter, Leslie had been trying to get people to sign a petition for the zoo to not separate their newly-wed penguins. It was a hellishly cold day, she'd been at it for hours and nobody seemed interested in signing. It's understandable she'd been a little cranky. She finally snapped at a guy giving her the bush-off.

“Hey, jerk!” she shouted. 

The guy stopped and came over to her. “Me?” he said incredulously. 

“Yeah, you! What, you don't see me? Oh, that's just fine, pretend I'm not here jerk, how dare I do something so appalling as SPEAK TO YOU? YOU POOR THING!” Right, maybe she'd gotten a little loud, like yelling loud, and people were looking, but whatever. 

The guy just stared at her for a few beats, then dropped his backpack to the ground. “Okay. What's the petition for?”

Leslie blinked. She scrambled to find her footing and started explaining about the gay penguin wedding and how to zoo was planning to split them up and send them to different zoos and... the guy was chuckling. Leslie broke off and stared at him. 

“I'm sorry. What's funny?”

“Nothing. Continue.” But he was struggling to keep a straight face. Leslie lost her grip on her temper again. 

“You think this is soooo hilarious, hmm? Forget it! I don't want your dumb signature anyway.”

“No... I really want to sign.”

Leslie stuck her nose in the air. 

“I wouldn't let you sign this if you paid me. Jerk.”

And she stormed off. She was still fuming hours later. Not only had he laughed at her, but he'd made her so mad she'd left her post and she only had twenty signatures. That arrogant bastard. She hoped she never had to encounter that unpleasant person again.

But alas.

Two weeks later Leslie was dealing with finals and irritated to find Jerk Face occupying the good study room in the library, the one with the windows. And the next two days, when she stormed the library gates in a cloud of caffeine, sugar and revision notes, he was there. On the fourth day in a row, there'd been another... altercation. One that involved her... not yelling, but firmly expressing her opinion that he ought to relinquish the room. He'd invited her to join him, she'd blanked for a second but informed him she needed privacy to study, and the point was he couldn't just hog the good room. He'd responded that she couldn't just go around yelling at strangers all the time. 

“Excuse me, I don't!” Leslie replied indignantly. “Just you, because you're a selfish, rude, mean ass. I'm very polite and pleasant, actually!”

He leaned back in his chair and contemplated her for a silent minute. “I find that hard to believe,” he said finally. 

Needless to say, Leslie was outraged. She left with a new resolution to never again engage with Jerk Face. A resolution she mostly kept, even when they ended up in the same economics class the next semester. He tried to talk to her a couple of times, but Leslie was proud of herself for just walking away. Way to not engage, Leslie! He managed to drive her crazy despite her total denial of his existence, by beating her to answers all the time. He was doing it on purpose, to try and get under her skin, she knew it. 

And now he was trying to mess with her again by coming to dinner with her friends. Are there no lengths this guy won't go to just to piss her off? 

But her friends were here, she was going to eat delicious food, and Ben couldn't ruin it.

Leslie's eager to dive into conversation.

“How are you finding college, April?” she asked. 

“Well, I live here,” April replied in a monotone. There's a collective pause.

“Do you like your classes?”

“I'm doing anatomy and pathology. It's great. We get to learn to embalm corpses,” she drawls out the words, giving them a toothy smile around the word 'corpses.' 

“Great,” says Leslie, flustered. 

“That's great, April,” Ann chimes in cheerily. April narrows her eyes at her.

April is a freshman, and Andy's girlfriend. Andy and Ann dated in high school and were on and off last year. After they broke up for good, Andy suddenly turned up with a high school girlfriend, the weird, monotonic April. Andy and Ann have stayed good friends, to Leslie's relief, because she loves Andy. April is less thrilled about hanging out with Andy's ex, which she makes known. The more Ann tries to be friendly to the girl, the colder April is to her. The thing is, though, Leslie likes April. She's strange, but Leslie sees a lot of potential in her. 

Now, though, she changes the subject quickly before April can unleash her claws on Ann. “How are your classes, Ron?”

“They are adequate.” 

“Great. Would you like to expand on that?”

“Why?”

“I'm just curious about your life. As your friend.”

Ron stares her down. “No.” 

“Okay then!” Leslie says brightly. “Who else? Tom?”

Tom and Donna are sniggering over Donna's phone about something Leslie's sure she won't understand. 

“Why do we gotta talk about school?” Tom whines. “How 'bout, what parties are going on this weekend? I heard the lacrosse guys are throwing a rager. And you know if those guys are throwing it, there's bound to be hot girls there!” 

“A party?” Andy perks up. “When, where and will there be booze?”

“Tomorrow night, they rent a totally sweet place off campus and I need a wingman. What do you say, Dwyer? Can I count on you?” 

Andy straightens up, looking serious. “Tom Haverford, it would be my honour.” They slap hands over the table. 

“Great. I've got my eye on one of those lacrosse boys,” Donna says wolfishly. 

“So we're all down, right?” 

“I will not be attending,” Leslie mutters.

“What? Why?” demands Tom.

“I have too much work to do.”

“Leslie, it's the first week back,” Tom whines. 

“Leslie, seriously,” adds Donna. “You really need to let loose. Have some fun!”

Leslie's idea of fun just isn't really a loud noisy house full of wasted jocks and spilled drinks. Anyway, she always end up embarrassing herself when she's drunk. But even Ann thinks she should come, and Leslie's never been good at saying no to Ann's beautiful face. So it seems the gang will be attending the lacrosse idiots' Neanderthal party. Great. 

They're well into their meals when Ben turns to Leslie and asks, “How are you finding classes, Leslie?” 

“They're great,” says Leslie with less enthusiasm than the question warrants because of who's asking, although Ben is speaking quietly and with seemingly genuine interest, which throws her a little. 

“What do you think of Professor Duncan?” he asks. Leslie had the bad fortune to land in another class with Ben, US political history. 

“He's... interesting,” Leslie says carefully. He was one of the more interesting teachers Leslie had come across. At first she hadn't liked him, put off by his loud, aggressive attitude, but she was warming to him. He was passionate and eccentric, and Leslie liked those traits. 

“Yeah,” said Ben, “that's the word I'd use.” He smiles at her.

He's cute. Ben's cute. She'd never realised he was cute before. Maybe because she's never seen him smile before – she's only seen him smirking or looking condescending. 

It's a realisation she has no use for, and she carefully puts it away. 

“His classes are certainly interesting. I like him,” she blurts out without meaning to.

“I like him too. He's really passionate about what he teaches.”

Hesitantly Leslie offers him a smile and he smiles back, looking pleased. Leslie quickly looks to Ann, hoping she's witnessing her good behaviour. She is, and she gives Leslie an approving look. 

Nailed it, Leslie thinks, and just then dessert comes out, like the universe is rewarding her.

 

It's Saturday night and Leslie is wearing a pretty dress and high heels, both Ann's, and smoky eye make-up, also done by Ann. 

“Do you think you'll hook up with anyone tonight?” Ann asks as she's putting the finishing touches on her hair. 

“No! You know my rule! No guys this year!”

“That doesn't apply to hooking up!”

“Yes it does! NO GUYS, Ann!”

Ann raises an eyebrow at her in the mirror.

“You know what I'm like! I'll hook up with someone, and he says he'll call me, then I don't hear from him, and I won't be able to stop thinking about him, then he calls and we hook up again and I realise I have feelings for him but then he won't answer my calls and I spend all my time thinking about him when I should be thinking about school! And Madeleine Albright!”

Ann stares at her like she's insane.

“Yeah, okay,” she relents. “I know you can get a bit... fixated. So, what? No guys whatsoever? All year? You're not gonna even make out with a single person?”

“Yes,” Leslie says stubbornly. “I don't need guys, Ann! They're just a distraction.”

Ann shakes her head slowly. “Well, power to you,” she sighs. “I couldn't do it. I'd go nuts.”

“You and I are very different, Ann,” Leslie says primly.

“Ain't that the truth,” Ann agrees. They clink their cocktail glasses together. 

“Ready to go?” says Ann, downing the rest of her drink. Leslie links their arms. 

“It would be a shame to stay in when I look this good.”

 

 

The party's already in full gear when they arrive. 

“I'm gonna go get us some drinks!” shouts Ann, and disappears into the kitchen.

“Leslie Knope!” She's being engulfed in a bear hug by Andy, who seems to already be heavily intoxicated. 

“Hi Andy! Hi April!” Leslie yells. 

“Hi,” says April. “You look like a stripper.” She must see the hurt on Leslie's face and adds, “But like a classy stripper. A hot stripper. I'd do you.”

“Thanks,” says Leslie, oddly touched. 

“Hey guys!” Beautiful Ann is back with two brightly colored drinks and hands one to Leslie.

“Everyone's out back and there's jell-o shots! Come on!” Andy leads them out to the back porch. Leslie takes a deep breath. This is better. Fresh air, and the party noise is muted. Her friends are by a table that does indeed contain a tray of colorful jell-o shots. Leslie sits on the railing with Donna and Ann. She's never had jell-o shots before which is a travesty, because they're delicious. She's had six and the back yard is starting to spin.

“I feel so drunk,” she moans, holding Ann's arm and leaning into her. 

“No more of these,” says Ann, plucking the empty shot glass from her hand. 

“Wait, there's alcohol in those?” Leslie says wide-eyed.

“Oh, Leslie.” Donna reaches over to pat her head. 

Leslie pouts. How was she supposed to know? Who would expect alcohol to be in jell-o? They don't even taste like alcohol. She thought they were like fun appetisers or something.

“Hey.” Someone new is speaking to her left, which takes a moment to register with her. Should turn head and look... Whoa. There we go. 

It's Ben Wyatt.

Ben the jerk Wyatt.

Excellent.

Leslie can tell him all about what a jerk he is.

She jumps down from the railing but her downwards trajectory doesn't stop when her feet hit the ground. This porch must be slanted. That's dangerous. They should fix that. Oh, someone caught her and is holding her up by her arm. She puts her hand on their arm to convey her thanks.

It's Ben.

Right. She's about to explain his jerkiness to him. She straightens up, wobbling a little, and pokes him in the chest with her index finger. 

“Ben. Wyatt,” she says slowly. That wasn't right. 

Ben looks amused. “Leslie. Knope,” he replies. She decides to tell him this is not a laughing matter.

“This serious,” she slurs. 

“Okay,” he says with mock seriousness, leaning closer and pretending to listen intently.

Leslie stares at him and tried to organise her thoughts into words.

“You have a cute face,” she tells him.

“Okay!” Ann jumps off the railing and starts dragging Leslie inside by the arm. “Time for water!”

“I was gonna tell him he's a jerk!” Leslie protests.

“Uh huh.”

“You should've let me. I was gonna tell him... about... jerk-face...”

Ann brings them to a stop by the sink. 

“You're gonna drink a big glass of water, and then I'm gonna take you home.”

“No! Party!” she whines.

“You didn't even want to come, remember?”

“I did. I do. Want to.” 

“Is she okay?” 

Ben is suddenly there again. He was outside, and now he's here. Leslie giggles and pokes him in the chest. 

“Ben Wyatt. You should have jell-o shots. They're delicious.” 

“She's fine. She's just really drunk. I'm gonna take her home.”

“Ann wants to go home. She didn't even want to come. I had to BEG her,” Leslie tells Ben, and giggles.

“Yep, that's what happened,” Ann says drily. 

“Um, I can take her home if you want to stay. I was gonna leave soon anyway. I'm not drinking and this is kinda no fun sober.”

“Don't take offence to this, but there's no way I'm leaving her like this with a guy I barely know. Who she hates.” Ann winces. “Sorry.”

“No, it's okay. I get it. I can drive you both though, if you want?”

Ann thinks it over. Leslie tries to mimic her thinking face and ends up just scrunching her face up in weird ways, which makes her giggle and sway a little.

“Okay. Yeah, thanks.”

Leslie happily throws her arm around Ann's shoulder as they make their way out. “Ann, you beautiful radiant space unicorn. You're my very best friend.” 

“I know,” Ann giggles.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

After a moment's contemplation, she throws her other arm over Ben's shoulder.

“You're my friend, too,” she decides.

“Really?”

“Yep.” She sighs happily. 

“Even though I'm smug arrogant jerk?”

“I think maybe you're not a jerk,” Leslie muses. 

“Yeah?” He smiles at her and her heart flips.

“Yeah. And if you are I forgive you. Because you're a cute jerk.”

Ben grins as he helps her into the front seat of his car. Ann hops in the back. 

After he buckles his seatbelt and checks hers is done up, he starts the car, then looks over at her before pulling out. 

“I think you're pretty cute, too.”


	2. you can't mind over matter your illness away

Leslie's Sunday is full of suffering. She spends the day going back and forth between her bed and the toilet, and whimpering to her friends when they call to check in on / laugh at her. 

She is never drinking again. She means it this time. 

Ann brings her pizza for dinner, when she's finally done throwing up and her stomach is settled enough to keep down food. 

“Was Ben there last night?” Leslie asks her suddenly, memories pricking at the edge of her conciousness. 

“Your friend Ben? Yeah, he drove us here.”

“He's not my friend.” Leslie wrinkles her nose.

“Well, don't tell him that. He'll be devastated.” Ann smiles into her mug of tea. 

“Okay, tell me everything that happened.”

“Nothing, really. We were there for about half an hour, you had like a hundred jello shots, you lost the ability to stand and Ben drove us home.”

“Hmm.” Leslie sniffed. “Well, that was nice of him, I guess.”

 

Monday afternoon is her US political history class. She's not expecting Ben to slide into the seat beside her.

“Hey, Leslie,” he greets her chipperly. 

“Oh, what do you want,” she snaps. Her head STILL kind of hurts from Saturday and she's been cranky all day.

“You're in a bad mood,” he observes, still entirely too merry. 

“Shut up,” she grumbles.

Ben gets out his textbook and starts paging through it while Leslie watches him from the corner of her eye. She suddenly remembers her conversation with Ann yesterday and feels guilt creep in.

“Thanks for driving me and Ann home the other night,” she says quietly. 

“It was no problem.” He smiles at his desk. 

He's such a confusing guy. Leslie can't get a read on him.

He looks at her and smiles wider. “You know, since we're friends now,” he adds.

“We're not friends,” Leslie says quickly. 

“That's not what you said at the party!” he sing-songs.

“Ugh.” She drops her head to the desk. “Please disregard anything I said. I was not myself.”

“You were nice to me.” He grins and pokes her arm.

“I didn't mean it,” she mumbles into her desk.

“You also said I was cute.”

Her head shoots up. 

“I did not!”

“You did. Twice.” 

Defeated, she drops her head back to the desk. 

“Ugh. Kill me now.”

Ben chuckles. “Leslie, it's fine. You were drunk. I didn't take anything you said seriously.”

She peeks over at him. “I'm sorry if I embarrassed myself.”

“You didn't. You were cute.”

She glares at him. 

“Sorry,” he adds, seeming entirely unapologetic, smiling even more brightly at her. God, he's so smiley and happy today. It's weird. 

Professor Duncan arrives before she can dwell any more on his weirdness, shouting as he's barely through the doorway as is his norm, and making Leslie wince. 

This hangover can bite it.

 

Tuesday her headache hasn't abated and she's too hot. Sweat keeps beading on her. How long can a hangover last? This isn't fair. She's already decided never to drink again. She complains about it to Ann that night. 

“You're not still hungover.” Ann sits on the bed next to her and feels her forehead. “You're really warm. Leslie, you're sick.”

“I'm not sick,” Leslie protests.

“The flu's going around.”

“I do NOT have the flu.”

“Leslie...”

“No way. I have too much to do this week! I have to give that speech about women in politics on Thursday.” It was a big-deal panel for up-and-comers in politics. There would be journalists and political guests. Professor Duncan had put her name forward to give the speech and Leslie was honoured, and incredibly excited. 

“Leslie...”

“And I have essays to write and so much studying to do. And debate try-outs are next week and I need to prepare. No, Ann, I can't get sick.” 

“Okay, well, unfortunately, Leslie,” Ann says, taking her hand and speaking slowly and patiently like she's trying to talk down a crazy person, “sometimes in life, we get sick at inopportune times. But denying the situation doesn't help.” She squeezes her hand. “Why don't we go visit the doctor and see if he can give you something to help you get better as quick as possible?”

Leslie does consider this. Truly she does.

“No.” She jumps to her feet. “I'm not sick and that's that. I've gotta go work on my speech.” She tries to ignore the look on Ann's face as she grabs her stuff and heads out to the library.

 

Leslie has plans to meet Ann at the cafeteria for lunch on Wednesday. She's already waiting at a table when Ann shows up, and she can't account for the look Ann gives her as she stops in her tracks. Nor the pointed head to toe and back scan. 

“Hi, Ann,” wheezes Leslie. Hmm, she guesses her voice is rough from all the debate practise. 

Ann cautiously sits on the edge of her chair. “Leslie, you look terrible. I told you you were getting sick.”

“I'm not sick.”

“Why are you wearing a parka and scarf?”

“It's cold in here. They're always messing with the temperature.”

“It's warm in here.” Ann clucks her tongue admonishingly. “You're sweating.”

“I'm fine, Ann. I've got everything under control. I'm just gonna go to my classes and rock this speech tomorrow, but I'm gonna take it real easy, I promise.”

Ann gets to her feet. “Get up. We're going for ice cream.”

Leslie doesn't really want ice cream. Oh god, is she sick? She must be.

No. Nope. Not today.

“Yay. Ice cream,” she says weakly, wobbling to her feet. 

“Let's go.”

 

“We're here!” Ann announces brightly, opening Leslie's door and helping her out. Leslie squints up at the hospital doors.

“This is the hospital.”

“Yep!” She starts towing Leslie through the doors.

“You tricked me.”

“Uh huh.”

“You... you...” Her sense of betrayal has rendered her speechless. Ann speaks to reception and soon Leslie is in a hospital bed being examined, still blinking in surprise. 

The doctor tells her he's admitting her. 

“You can't keep me prisoner here. I have constitutional rights! I'll sue you. What's your name? I'm friends with the president. And the archduke. I know karate! Come back here!”

The doctor ignores her – rude! - and steps over to speak to Ann, telling her they'll keep a close eye on her and make sure she she gets lots of rest and fluids. Leslie continues to shout threats at him sporadically, but both he and Ann completely ignore her. Rude. 

Ann - beautiful, exotic sea otter Ann - moves to her bedside and smoothes the hair back from her forehead, telling her to rest and she'll come see how she is tomorrow.

“Please take me home. I feel fine, really,” Leslie pleads.

“Leslie, you're very sick. The doctor said so, and he would know.”

“Not necessarily. I think he's a spy.”

“I will see you tomorrow. Get some rest, and don't make too much trouble for the nice hospital staff, okay?”

Leslie pouts. She knows she's not sick, whatever Ann and the doctor say. Even if she does fall asleep almost as soon as Ann is out of the room.

 

 

To be perfectly honest, Leslie is not completely lucid during the next couple of days. She has crazy dreams about killer raccoons and hybrid baby-robots trying to kill her in her sleep. She also has wacky dreams about being in her hospital room, and can't tell what are dreams and what's reality. She speaks to Ann for a bit and she's pretty sure that's real. Also maybe Ron and Tom? And she thinks Ben might even be there but that might be a dream.

Her head clears enough Thursday afternoon that she remembers she's supposed to give her speech that night. She's alone in her room and she fishes her cell phone out of her bag and calls Ann. 

“Leslie?” Ann sounds worried. “Are you okay?”

“ANN!” Leslie shouts into the phone. “Come rescue me from here! I have my speech tonight, Ann!”

“Oh, Leslie, sweetie. I'm sorry. I know how important this speech was to you, but you've been so out of it.”

“No.” Leslie is laying prone on her bed, and struggles to sit up again. “I need to be there. I can do it!” 

“Leslie. I'm so sorry. I don't think you can. And besides, Duncan already organised Joan Calamezzo to do it instead.”

Leslie goes still. “What?”

“I'm sorry.”

“Joan Calamezzo?” Leslie hisses. “What does that simpleton know about politics... about _anything_?”

“I know what a big opportunity this was. I'm so sorry, Leslie.” Ann truly does sound heartbroken. Leslie tries to get her throbbing head together. The fact of the matter is, she needs to at that panel tonight, but she knows she's not going to be able to convince Ann. 

“I guess another opportunity will come along,” she murmurs.

“Absolutely!” Ann enthuses, sounding relieved. “You're brilliant and dedicated, Leslie. There are going to be so many wonderful opportunities for you. You just rest up and get better now, okay?”

“Okay. Thanks, Ann. I love you.”

“Love you too, Les.”

Okay. Operation Hospital-Break begins now. Leslie eases herself off the bed and her legs almost give out under her.

Whoa. She really is sick. But it's okay. She just needs extra medicine to make her well enough to get to the convention centre and give her speech. No problem. Lucky she's so good at being sneaky. 

In no time at all she's had five times her recommended dose of flu medication is in in a cab and on her way.

 

Nobody's happy to see her.

Ann chews her out. Ron tries to guide her out of the hall to take her back to the hospital. Joan Calamezzo is furious. But Leslie is adamant and makes it clear she's not going anywhere.

She thinks she makes it clear, anyway. The way people are reacting to her makes it seem like she's not making as much sense as she thought. 

When Leslie refuses to budge, Ann hands her over to Ben, who is apparently involved in this thing in some way.

“Are you sure you're okay do this?” he asks her yet again. 

“I'm so fine, Ben,” she tells him breezily. “I'm just going to tell all these lovely elves that harvesting rainbows isn't the future.” She's not sure why Ben looks at her in horror.

He puts a hand on her elbow to help her as she reaches the stairs to the panel. Leslie freezes and throws out an arm to stop him.

“Whoa. Careful,” she warns. “The floor and the wall just switched.”

Nice try, but you can't fool her that easy. She takes a careful step. 

“Oookay. Up we go.” Ben hoists her up onto the stage. 

“Will you hold my tiara? The leopard princess is always trying to steal it,” she whispers to Ben.

Then someone's calling her name and she steps forward to the microphone.

“Good evening. My name is Leslie Knope and I've known I wanted to go into politics since I was six.”

 

Everyone's elated afterwards.

“Leslie!” Ann squeals. “That was fantastic!” 

“Well done, Leslie,” Ron says quietly. 

“Damn, Knope,” says Donna, who along with Tom hauled ass here to support her when they heard what she was doing. Or possibly to watch if it all went to hell. “Knocked it out of the park.” She gives her a fist bump. 

“Leslie.” Ben appears in front of her looking shell-shocked. “That was... I don't have words.” He's staring at her like she's some mythical creature come to life right in front of him.

Leslie has pressing matters to attend to, though.

“Was I wearing a tiara when I came in here?” she asks, patting her head.

“Right. Hospital,” grunts Ron. 

 

Her friends enthusiastically regale her with their accounts of the event in the following week. Apparently her performance in her condition was nothing short of miraculous. Her memories are patchy, and she's happy to have her over-excited friends fill in the blanks. 

She's discharged from the hospital after a couple of days, but not back at classes until the following week. It's the first time she's seen Ben since, and he looks happy to see her as she slides into the chair next to him. 

“You look better.”

“I feel better. Look!” She gets back up and performs a little tap-dance. 

“Bravo, Miss Knope!” cries Professor Duncan as he breezes in the door. “You'll be a professional dancer yet!” Leslie flushes a little as she reclaims her seat. 

It feels good to be focusing her mind on learning again. Being sick is the worst. 

She's about to head to the library after class to play some serious catch-up on the work she missed, when Ben surprises her by asking her to get coffee with him.

“Okay,” she hears herself say. 

They go to her diner, because now that she's feeling better, she's craving waffles. Ben only orders coffee. Leslie plays with the sugar packets. 

“I meant to ask you, what were you doing at that panel?”

“I, uh, was invited as a guest.”

“Why?” Leslie frowns.

Ben sighs. “I thought maybe you knew.”

“Knew what?”

She watches the emotions play across his face as he keeps his head bent. His reluctance is ramping up her curiosity. She needs an answer to this mystery!

Ben looks up resignedly at her. “Does Partridge, Minnesota mean anything to you?”

Leslie frowns. It does sound familiar. It's right there in her brain, she's sure. If she could just...

Oh.

_Oh._

“You're the teen mayor?” Leslie says incredulously. 

“Uh huh.”

_“Benji Wyatt!”_ she exclaims. “Of course! How did I not realise before now? Oh, man. I was so jealous of you.”

“You shouldn't have been. It kind of ruined my life.”

“What do you mean?”

“I uh, blew the town's budget on a winter sports complex and bankrupted the town. I was impeached after that. You didn't hear that part?”

“No. I had no idea what happened to you.” 

He smiles tightly at her. She gives him a sad half smile back. 

Poor Ben. He looks so gutted just talking about it. She reaches across the table and covers his hand with hers. “Hey, at least you tried something. And it looks like it's opening some doors for you, right? You got invited to be a guest at a political event!” 

“I nearly didn't go,” he admits. “I'm sort of a joke in politics. Everyone in my hometown hates me. They would invite me to an event just to humiliate me.” 

“You didn't think that was what was happening here?”

“No. But I didn't feel like I deserved to be there as a guest, I guess.”

Leslie squeezes his hand then withdraws hers. “What made you decide to go?” she asks after a beat.

“I do want to run for office again someday. You know, in a long time, when I'm older and have the appropriate experience and everything.” 

“I want to run for office, too.”

“I figured.” He smiles gently at her.

“I'm going to be President of the United States,” she blurts, proudly pushing her shoulders back. 

“I don't doubt it.” 

Their eyes make contact for a few seconds too long and Leslie's stomach is feeling fluttery and oh no, this isn't supposed to happen. Abort, abort. 

Thank god. Blessed waffles! She thanks the server warmly.

Ben watches her pile whipped cream onto her waffles. 

“That... is a lot of whipped cream.”

Leslie points her fork at him. “Whipped cream is the greatest food in the world, Ben.”

“Okay.”

“Don't you dare question my whipped cream choices.” 

“I would never.” His lip is twitching at her as he tries to keep a straight face. It's the same look he had when she was explaining about the penguins, but she's starting to recognise it's not a bad thing. He's not actually an arrogant jerk. He's a nice, kind of awkward guy who likes politics and wants to run for office and thinks she's cute.

Crap on a cracker.

_No guys,_ she reminds herself. 

“Your speech was amazing, by the way.” He jolts her from her thoughts.

“Oh. Thanks.” 

“So who else is on your list of inspirational women?” 

Leslie hopes he doesn't regret asking that question as she gives him a run-down. 

“But it was your mom who first made you want to get into politics?”

“Mmm hmm. She was my earliest inspiration. What about you? What made you want to into politics?”

He shrugs one shoulder. “I just really want to make a difference.”

Leslie melts just a little. 

 

Okay, so she goes home that afternoon with a crush, there's no denying it. But she's sticking to her no guys rule. No cute dorky teen mayors are going to waltz in and turn her head and get in the way of everything she's working for. She'll just stay away from Ben from now on, that's all.

She can totally stay away from Ben.


	3. you can't decide not to have feelings for someone

Staying away from Ben is not easy, because they have that class together, and he sits with her and makes her laugh. He has a dorky sense of humour that she finds weirdly irresistible. The more time she spends talking to him, the more she wants to make out with his face. She may or may not fantasise about a future where he's a senator and she's governor of Indiana and they get married and he runs her presidential campaign and they win and have hot White House sex. 

This is exactly why she's sworn off guys. She's fixating. 

Still, it's not like they see each other much outside of class. Ben asks her to get coffee or lunch with him again a couple more times, and she says no and feel ridiculously proud of herself. Tom invites him to dinner with them again, and they joke and rib each other a bit, but then she makes sure to mostly talk to everyone else for the rest of the night.

She's doing so great at this. This crush is her bitch, instead of the other way around. And with her whole focus on non-guy stuff, she's crushing all her school work, she's made the debate team and is having a great time and killing it there too, she's made two friendship scrapbooks for Ann and a friendship calendar for each of her friends, and she still has time to help Andy plan April's birthday party.

Leslie and Andy are both super excited. April less so, at least outwardly. It's hard to tell with April. She maintains an exterior of apathy and sarcasm at all times, but Leslie reads between the lines of her eye rolls and scorn and deduces that she's at least somewhat looking forward to it.

The party will be held at a reluctant Ron's apartment the coming Saturday night. As she's going over the (very short – just their friendship circle. April's not a people person) guest list in her party binder, Leslie thinks to ask Tom if he invited Ben.

“Yeah. Why?”

Dammit. Tom sees the disappointment on her face. 

“Leslie!” he complains. “You gotta let this beef with Ben go.”

“I don't have beef,” she protests.

“Uh huh,” Tom says disbelievingly. “You only look at him like you wish lasers would shoot from your eyes and kill him.” He recoils and grimaces. “Ugh. Lasers? Look what hanging with that nerd has done to me! Maybe we _should_ uninvite him!”

Leslie can't help but smirk at him. “Tom, really, I don't have a problem with Ben. He's more than welcome to come.” She flips the page to music. “So for music, we have One Direction...”

Tom cuts her off with a shriek. “Leslie. LESLIE.” He leans forward and pries the binder from her hands, looking shaken. “PLEASE let me be in charge of music.”

“But...”

“Leslie. For the good of all of us. PLEASE.” 

Leslie acquiesces with some bewilderment. She has great taste in music! She may not put up a fight but she's grumpy for the rest of the afternoon. 

 

 

Ron has a small, bare apartment to himself ten minutes from campus. It had taken some arm twisting to get him to agree to play host tonight. He'd never had a party here, actually didn't like having guests over at all. Leslie had only been here once before, and she'd insisted. He was a very solitary guy was Ron. A strange, solitary guy. She honestly wasn't even sure how they'd become or stayed friends. She remembers having a lot of very intense arguments with him last year, which frequently escalated into shouting matches. They both had strong but polarising opinions on most things. But when she was on the verge of a freakout, she'd always seek him out, and he'd gruffly talk her down. Somehow, he'd just ended up as part of their odd group. 

Maybe she feels a little bad for forcing him to allow a bunch of loud, drunk idiots into his private sanctuary, but hey, that's what you do for friends, especially when you're the only one with your own place. 

Leslie and Ann had been at Ron's setting up since the afternoon and now everyone was here, and they were indeed loud and drunk. Tom was playing some sort of club music and Andy and April were performing weird dance moves in the middle of Ron's living room. 

“You throw a good party, Knope,” Donna tells her, clinking their glasses. 

That's one of the best compliments Leslie can receive (along with you're great at scrapbooking, your color-coded binder system is organised and inspired, and you'd make a great president) and she can't help but tear up a little. “Thank you.” 

Donna rolls her eyes. “Oh, Knope,” she says, patting her on the back. “You're alright.”

“Thanks, Donna. You're alright, too.”

“Oh honey, I'm more than alright.”

“It is a great party,” says Ben to her left. “You must have done a lot of planning.”

“Well, you know,” Leslie says vaguely. “Planning's my thing.” 

Ben keeps gravitating towards her and she really needs him to stop. Every time he smiles at her, it makes her heart speed up and her stomach swoop, and that's just what she's trying to avoid. They make eye contact now that lasts for a second too long, and Leslie gives him a manic smile, makes a vague flapping gesture with her hand, and skitters suddenly to the other side of the room.

“Hey, guys!” she says brightly to Tom and Ann. “What's going on over here at the DJ booth?”

“I'm trying to convince Tom to play something with actual lyrics! Something other people here might actually know!” Ann informs her, blowing a chunk of hair off her sweaty forehead. 

“It's not my fault you guys don't know what's cool!” 

“Hey, so I'm gonna bring the cake out soon!”

“Great, coz I think Ron's about reached his limit,” says Ann, and they all turn to look at Ron in the corner, arms folded and watching the scene play out resignedly. “After cake maybe we should move the party to Evolution.” 

“Evolution!” cries Andy, dancing over. “I love that place.”

“Yeah, and they don't card,” April adds, bumping into him and almost making him spill his drink.

Leslie sees Ron's moustache twitch and decides it's a good idea to hurry this along.

“Okay, cake time!” she announces brightly. 

She's pretty proud of her cake. It's a triple chocolate extravaganza, and is decorated with April's face in frosting. 

“Oh my god, Leslie,” April groans, rolling her eyes. Leslie just wraps her in a hug and pretends not to notice feeling April smile against her shoulder. 

They have cake and toasts and speeches, and then Leslie hustles them all out before Ron's head can explode. 

 

It's Saturday night and the club is pulsing with college students determined to live it up before the weekend slips away from them. Leslie's had a fair bit to drink tonight and she's so happy to be with her friends, she just loves her friends so much okay? They're the greatest people who exist on the earth and they just happened to all attend her college. It's the greatest coincidence ever.

She's dancing with Ann and April, jumping around to the music without inhibitions. Breathless when the song changes, she stops to pull April in for a hug.

“Happy birthday April!” she shouts in her ear.

“Ew,” April complains, trying to squirm free, but Leslie holds tight and reaches out to pull Ann in as well for a group hug. 

“Aw! I love you guys!” yells Ann. 

April yanks away from her, scowling. “Gross. Don't touch me, Satan.” She storms off the dance floor.

Leslie and Ann grin at each other. Ann takes her hand and swings their arms, and they make their way back to the group. 

They've been joined by Shauna Malwae-Tweep, a friendly if not particularly engaging girl Leslie knew from her Communications class last year. 

“Hi Leslie!” she chirped, hopping off her barstool to give her a one-armed hug. “It's so great to see you! I didn't know you were friends with Ben!”

“Oh.” Leslie blinked. “ I didn't know you were.” 

“We have accounting together.” Shauna leans right in to Ben's personal space and smiles prettily at him, touching his arm. “Ben's a real numbers whiz.” She laughs as if she's said something funny.

“Uh...” Ben chuckles nervously. “Yeah.” Awkwardly he runs a hand through his hair, making it stick up adorably. 

“So do you wanna dance?” Shauna blinks her Bambi lashes at him and touches his arm again.

Leslie feels sick.

 

“Um...” Ben glances at Leslie. 

“Come on,” Shauna says in a low enticing voice, sliding off her stool and hooking her hand around Ben's elbow. “I'll go easy on you.”

“Okay.” He lets Shauna drag him away, although he throws another backwards glance at Leslie first. 

“Leslie? You okay?” Ann asks worriedly. 

That. Bitch. 

That bitch with her stupid shiny hair and mega-watt smile and those doe eyes, all simpering and coy and arm touching. What a pathetic, desperate, obvious simpleton.

Oh no. Leslie pulls herself up. What is she doing? A girl asks the guy she likes to dance and _that's_ where her mind goes? She's ashamed to call herself a feminist. 

And you turned Ben down, she reminds herself. You have no one to blame but yourself.

Besides, Ben probably just said yes to be polite. She doubts Shauna is his type. 

Her eyes seek them out on the dance floor, and her heart clenches. He _looks_ like he's enjoying himself. He's smiling and saying something into her ear, his arms around her, and she's pressed up against him...

YOU TURNED HIM DOWN. YOU TURNED HIM DOWN. YOU TURNED HIM DOWN.

“Leslie!” Ann's voice cuts through her yelling at herself. Leslie gives a start and focuses on her best friend. From the look on her face she senses Ann has been trying to speak to her for awhile. 

“Sorry, what?”

“I asked if you're okay?” Ann says tentatively.

“Fine!” Leslie says a bit too forcefully. She tries to correct. “Fine, fine fine,” she sings. Ann's face is growing more and more worried. “Super duper fine! Fine as Einstein!” Worse. 

April holds up the skewer from her cocktail. “Want me to stab her for you?” Coming from someone else it would be a sweet offer but Leslie is a little unnerved by her quiet seriousness and black, focused eyes. 

“No. No! Don't be silly. I don't care. You guys know I'm not dating this year, so... Definitely do not wanna date Ben. So. I don't care what they do. Why would I care? No carin' here.” She slouches back in her chair. “Totally chill. Care-free zone.” 

Nailed it.

Although glancing back and forth between Ann and April's sceptical expressions... why were they looking at her like that?

Tom looks confused. “What's going on?” he shouts. 

Ron puts a hand on his shoulder. “You do not want the answer to that. File this under women’s business and ask no further questions.”

Leslie tries to focus on her friends. She's not watching Ben and Shauna out of the corner of her eye. She definitely doesn't notice when they dance to a second and third song. She has no idea that they slip off the dance floor and go off on their own, and even if she did, she wouldn't care. 

She mustn't be doing a very good job focusing on her friends, because she's startled when Ann drags a stool up next to her and puts an arm around her. 

“Leslie,” she begins. “I know you're not fine.” 

“What? What are you talking about?”

“You've shredded five napkins to pieces.”

Leslie looks down at the table. Huh. She doesn't remember doing that. 

“Confetti!” she announces, scooping up the pieces and turning to throw them on April, who glares at her and goes back to conversation with Andy.

“Leslie! Admit you have feelings for Ben!” 

“What? That's crazy!”

“Leslie!”

“Okay, he's not horrible looking. But you know my...”

“No guys rule, yes. But sweetie...Just because you decide not to date, doesn't mean you can decide not to have feelings for someone. I know you're worried about guys being a distraction, but aren't you pretty distracted right now?” 

“Yes,” Leslie admits miserably. She takes a deep breath. “I like him so much.” 

Ann rubs her back soothingly. “I know.” 

“I've made a huge mistake.” Leslie realises aloud, voice catching. “I've turned him down, I've avoided him, and now he thinks I don't like him and he's going to date Shauna and they'll probably have beautiful babies and I'll be old and alone.”

“It's not too late. Tell him how you feel! Trust me, the boy's crazy about you.”

“Really?” Leslie smiles hopefully.

“Really. I've seen the way he looks at you. I don't think he knows other girls exist. I'm sure he's not interested in Shauna.” 

Which is when Shauna comes back to the table. “Hey, guys!” she says brightly.

“Heyyy, Shauna.”

Shauna is a bouncy person. She bounces in her chair as she adjusts herself and crosses her legs, then rests her hands demurely on her knees and smiles widely at them. “Ben's just getting us drinks,” she informs them.

“Oh?” Leslie tries to keep a neutral face. 

Shauna leans forward. “He's cute, isn't he? I like him so much.” She's radiating joy. “I asked him out.”

“Oh?” Leslie says again. 

“Yep. He said yes. We're going out tomorrow.” The full force of Shauna's radiant smile is unleashed. Ann swings horrified eyes to hers. But Leslie is stoic. 

It's okay. Yeah, she realises she made a mistake now, but it's too late. Her chance is gone. But it's okay. Ben's off the table, but that's what she wanted in the first place.

This is what she wanted. 

She didn't realise how much it would hurt, though. Maybe she didn't realise just how strong her feelings for Ben are until this moment. 

But it's fine. She's fine.


End file.
